http://www.copyblogger.com/grammar-goofs/

Occupational Hazard

Warren Buffet:

"Right now I would pay $100,000 for 10% of the future earnings for any of you.So any of you wants to see me after this  is over*laughter*.

If thats true,you are a million dollar asset right now,right,if 10% of you is worth $100,000.You could improve-many of you,and I certainly could have when i got out,JUST IN TERMS OF LEARNING COMMUNICATION SKILLS.Its not something that is taught.I actually went to a Dale Carnegie  course later on in terms of public speaking.But if you improve your value 50% by having communication skills thats another $50,000 in terms of capital value.See me after the class and i will pay you $150,000*Laughter*"

Great communication is an art. Honing it to a keen edge is a science.Improving your ability to convey information in a concise, friendly style will yield better results than anything else. There are few ways for talking to customers, and nothing scales quite like consistently delightful communication.

Kind words are worth much and cost little. This creates opportunity: when you can’t out-spend the competition, the solution is to out-support them. Mastering support requires the experience of knowing just what to say and the wisdom to recognize the best way to say it.

Don’t let the thousand-mile view fool you, though. Communication is hard. It’s made harder when you’re trying to make the mundane memorable.

Customers want to know that their issues matter to you; that you don't see them as “Complaining Person #5589.” How you communicate this means everything.

Let’s explore a few simple phrases that can be used to improve nearly every support interaction. Whether you weave them into Saved Replies or incorporate their intentions into your own style, they can prove to be consistently helpful for our team;

“Happy to Help”

Not every customer will tell you that they are walking away unhappy—in fact, very few will. They’ll just walk away.

To address this concern, think about "closing" a conversation, in a similar vein to a sales rep (after all, coffee is for closers only).

For support, closing means ensuring that the customer is satisfied. Ending your emails without a closing message can be risky, as it's not inviting the customer to share further issues. Those are issues you sincerely want to hear about.

For an outspoken person like myself, it was initially hard for me to understand why some people might just slink away without bringing up additional problems. Maybe they don't want to be a burden, or maybe they think you don't care. Whatever the reason, you need to let them know that you'd be happy to hear them out.

That's why I end 99% of my messages with, "Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you—I'm happy to help."

It's my way of saying that it would be my pleasure to assist with any lingering concerns that may have cropped up, or answer any questions they may feel are “dumb.” There are no dumb questions in support.

You should avoid: ending conversations so bluntly that the customer feels you are hurrying them out the door. Even a simple, "Are you all set?" will do.

"I Understand How ____ That Must Be"

What's with the blank?

What you use in that blank will greatly affect the tone of this message. A message that is obviously being used with an upset customer.

Here's a quick personal story: I ordered a gift for a friend of mine for his birthday from a hobby site. Usually, I couldn't care less about shipping on time—I'm patient and forgetful, the perfect customer!

However, this order was botched beyond belief. I was charged for and sent two orders instead of one, it was sent to my house when I specified my friend's address, and as the cherry on top, it was sent late.

The support person's response when I emailed in?

“I understand how annoying that must be.”

I’m sorry, I was far past annoyed. Call it a first world problem, but I was upset; she should have known to empathize with how upsetting that must be for me.

I know, I know—boo hoo. But upset customers are driven by emotion, not logic, as I was in that instance. I felt like I had let my friend down, and it made me frustrated in a situation I otherwise would have brushed off.

Use this phrase often and thoughtfully—read the customer's mood and relate with how he or she feels. Great support is defined by genuine empathy.

You should avoid: "That sucks." Any sort of communication that remotely resembles "sucks to be you" should be avoided like the plague. If the situation is minor and the customer doesn't have a problem, referencing it as "annoying" is perfectly reasonable, though.

"As Much As I'd Love to Help..."

There comes a time when the only answer is “no.” Some requests just aren’t feasible. Maybe a customer is treating you like a consulting business. While some hand-holding is fine, they've got to learn to walk someday.

But imagine answering a genuinely enthusiastic request with a blunt “no.” It can sting. Stay firm but kind by stating how you'd like to help, but it’s just not possible in this situation.

One of our readers asked about using positive language when a customer makes unscalable support requests. Our suggestion:

It's never fun to say, "We can't do that," but just as you have to bite the bullet and say “no” to feature requests, you sometimes have to turn down a service request—but you can at least do it nicely.

You should avoid: "To be honest with you…" It’s a phrase that is sometimes used as a defense, as in, "To be honest with you, we don't foresee that feature being implemented." I'm hesitant to use this phrasing because it makes a subtle implication that you're being honest right now—are there times when you aren't honest? You'll also want to steer clear of corporate speak, such as "That's not our policy."

"Great Question, I'll Find That Out for You"

Not knowing the answer to a question is a difficult scenario for anyone to be in, especially if you are new.

The biggest mistake to make is turning the situation into your situation: "I'm so sorry, I'm new!" or "Sorry, I've never been asked that before!"

Instead, keep the focus on what will be done to get the answer: "Great question, let me check our documentation so I can get that answered for you.”

Only the truly crazy will mind a small delay so that you can find the solution. Believe me, those types of people had little chance of walking away happy in the first place.

You should apply the principle of refocusing to other conversations as well. Whenever you're able to put the spotlight on what will be done rather than what's happened, you've made a smart move.

You should avoid: "If I recall correctly," or any other variant of "maybe,” “perhaps,” or “I'm pretty sure." Don't guess for a customer. Simply state that you're going to find out the exact answer they need, and do just that.

"Nice to Meet You"

Forget being a customer service phrase, this should be in the repertoire of every person who isn't an obnoxious misanthrope.

Yet I can’t begin to count the number of times I've gotten in touch with a new company, only to receive a robotic response from some person replying from their support@lamewebsite.com email address.

So many companies beeline for the most boring response ever: "Quinn, for integrations we offer..."

goes a long way in creating real customer "engagement"—a word that has been undeservedly beaten like a dead horse as marketers try to convince you that tweeting more = engagement.

You should avoid: *Crickets.* Silence and brusque responses are the deal-breakers here. Our not-so-fictional Quinn character (many customers have contacted us in a similar fashion) is interested in finding out about the company she is about to invest in. It certainly doesn't hurt to showcase that there are competent, friendly, and passionate people sitting at the other end of the screen.

"May I Ask Why That Is?"

This is one to keep close, as critics and complainers on the web are all too common.

You’ll need a way to dig deeper into their criticism without stooping to the abrasive language that they tend to use.

Consider if someone tweeted this about your company:

The way Company X handles [feature] is so f*ckin’ stupid. It’s unbelievable.

This sort of person has that Twitter malice in their heart, but you might actually be curious as to what brought them to that conclusion. Approaching this situation with care is important, because you don’t want to walk away as the bad guy.

This is where “May I ask why that is?” comes in handy. While it won’t pacify every vitriolic commenter, it always puts you in the right. Who can fault you for kindly asking for additional feedback?

You should avoid: stooping to the critic’s level. People will complain about your product no matter how well it’s built, so just make sure your language is level-headed and professional.

7 Web Productivity Tools That'll Maximize Your Efficiency

No matter what profession you’re working in, efficiency matters.  Being able to get more done in less time is the key to getting ahead .

Fortunately, with the number of tools on the market today, there’s never been a better time to take advantage of the online resources that will help you to increase the amount you’re able to accomplish.  The following are just a few of my favorites:

Tool #1 – Yast

There are plenty of different time-tracking tools out there, but Yast is one of the best, by far.  Its intuitive interface is easy to understand and simple to use, making tracking your time less of a chore and more of a business priority.

For best results, though, don’t just use this tool for business.  Use it to track how much time you’re spending on unimportant tasks (e.g. goofing around online or watching TV at home) in order to “split test your life” and become more efficient overall.

Tool #2 – Bitrix24

For some reason, Bitrix24 isn’t widely known — and I think that’s a shame.  The program combines a social intranet system with CRM tools that include contact tracking, sales funnel management, messaging, activity planning and calendars, all of which enable your team to quickly manage important pieces of information from within a central program.

Best of all, it’s free for teams with fewer than 12 people (subscription plans for larger groups are modestly priced as well).

Tool #3 – Trello

I’m not sure where the word “Trello” came from, but its definition should be, “project management simplified.”  Combining elements of both Pinterest and Basecamp HQ, Trello allows users to create project boards and easily manage the people and resources associated with each task.

Plus, despite its simplified, easy to use system, Trello is still free for use by teams of all sizes.

Tool #4 – Sanebox**

Unsurprisingly, Sanebox performs the exact task described in its name: it restores some sanity to the clutter of your inbox.  Once installed, the program automatically filters newsletters and other lower-priority email messages into a “Read Later” folder, ensuring that only priority communications reach your inbox.

Currently, the program runs for $55/year (with monthly and two-year subscriptions available as well), though you can take advantage of a 50 percent discount by allowing the company to post a few messages to your Facebook account.  However, even if you aren’t comfortable with this, the roughly $5/month you’ll spend to install Sanebox is more than worth the time saved sifting through unimportant email messages.

**Pro tip: If you run the Chrome browser, use the Baydin Email Game plugin to clean out your inbox before installing Sanebox.  Using the two tools together doesn’t just make “Inbox Zero” a possibility, it makes it fun to reach as well!)

Tool #5 – WriteMonkey

If you’re working on a writing project that requires your complete focus, you need the WriteMonkey program.  Once activated, the tool transforms your computer into a full-screen writing environment that blocks out the distractions of standard computer interfaces.  Not only is it free to use, it’s highly customizable, allowing you to set the color schemes and options that make you as productive as possible.

Tool #6 – LastPass

It’s no secret that password management is an extremely important priority for business people – especially considering the recent hacking of Wired Magazine’s Mat Honan.

However, coming up with and remembering the hundreds of strong, secure passwords needed to manage multiple logins is inefficient and often downright impossible without a password management program like LastPass.

LastPass is a highly secure, free program that will automatically generate and store secure passwords, enabling you to create nearly un-hackable logins that are served up by the program whenever you need to login to a website.  And while there are plenty of programs offering this functionality on the market today, I prefer LastPass for its mobile integrations (though you’ll need to upgrade to the $12/year premium subscription) and its range of multi-factor authentication processes (which protect your password data even more).

Tool #7 – HipChat

Finally, one area of efficiency that all organizations must consider is the amount of resources dedicated to internal communications.  Holding meetings takes time, while distributing memos requires paper — and if someone important is left out of the initial communication, both time and resources are wasted getting this person up to speed.

To eliminate these issues, we use the HipChat utility at Single Grain.  It’s a private chat tool that allows us to create chat rooms for groups of users, send private messages between individual teammates and even share files that pertain to ongoing discussions.  At only $2/user, per month, it’s an effective way to ensure that our projects are managed as efficiently as possible.

Obviously, these seven tools represent only a handful of the efficiency products that are available online today.  If you’ve got another recommendation that’s made a difference in your organization’s productivity, share your thoughts in the comments section below!

http://tweakyourbiz.com/technology/2013/04/08/9-free-business-productivity-tools-for-startups/?utm_source=outbrain&utm_medium=promo&utm_content=outbrain&utm_campaign=Outbrain

Google Apps 

We are handcuffed by google ecosystem

Google docs and Google drive: and the real-time editing function and ability to save your work to the cloud and pick it up on another device is crucial.Real time collaboration is the key.

https://www.uberconference.com/

https://slack.com/

Slack's mobile apps are super fast, and that was the main reason for our team to switch. I'm looking forward to more services being integrated into Slack, but it's already pretty much replaced internal emails. Whenever on the team someone emails me, I try to pull that conversation into Slack. I don't know what their big idea is, but it's great to see them killing email.

Slack is a magical wonderapp. Just enough integrated features, pretty interface, desktop/push notifications that are very customizable, it makes online collaboration fun instead of a pain.A twitter like interface.Different Channels:power of slack comes from sharing files videos.

Ideas:

*Having a blog for EM with concise and clear report of every week crucial event n fun gatherings with pics. When company blogging is a trend ,why not team blogging.

**When we complete any deadline or deliver something,why dnt we make a trend to thank everybody who helped us.A simple Thanks Naval for helping me out is not going to take away anybody's limelight,

The Last page of internet-part 2

                           The Last page of Internet(part 2)

.....And then the smoke frittered away… Gosh! What the hell was that..we looked at the sky..in gasp and awe yet frightened .. in disbelief yet hopeful.. in seething anger yet a rush of calmness.. in bewilderment yet ecstatic.. We could not believe our eyes..

There was this black smoke of artificial cloud with A “ Happy New Year” logo.

 It was a HOAX!.. We shivered in disbelief and ecstasy. What was going on? Did he really go this far to ensure all the commotion and din?

It was a planned event. Everything staged and organized by mr. President to make us realize the immensity of life.. to make us be a sitting duck sometimes, sailing in the calm waters and enjoying the exotic Nature..to make us GO SLOW in this age of accelerated life..to dwell in the luxury of PAYING ATTENTION in this age of burgeoning distraction…and to feel the urgency of SITTING STILL in this age of constant movement. He thought it’s the part of his job to ensure the same and he risked it all.either a Visionary or fool??

There were shouts of jubilation around. We got our second chance. Though Controversy remained about the approach of Mr. president, but the fact remained too, We did what we should be doing. We LIVED. Truly and happily in those three eventful days with a burst of optimism.

1^st Jan 2015, 6:00 AM

The day stretched like an open meadow. I was going through a Wikipedia of emotion and I suddenly realized the importance of my dream.

There won’t ever be a last page of internet but let’s take an online-sabbatical now and then. Let’s observe what I would like to call as “Online Sabbath”, whereby for 24 hours or 48 hours every week we go completely offline to live among the alive and breathing people. Let’s make this a festival for our generation and the coming ones wherein we celebrate it with the same jest and fervor like we engage ourselves in Diwali and holi…farfetched??

Let’s develop a more attentive and appreciative eyes to it.let’s take a break for ourselves from our accelerated lives.

Let’s walk around the candlelit temples of Tibet or simply wander along the seafronts in Havana with music passing all around us…Let’s pause for those high cobalt skies and the flash of blue ocean…because sometimes making a living and making a life points in two diametrically opposite directions…again none of this is new. That’s what Shakespeare and ancient scholars were telling us centuries ago, but then Shakespeare never had to face 200 emails a day and from all I know, scholars were not on Facebook. Let’s not be the one who gives up meat,***, or wine than the chance to look on emails. Let’s not be the ones who takes a day off and spends it worried about all the extra stuff that’s going to crash down on him/her the following day, because at the end of the day what matters is not how much money you make but who you choose to spend it with.

Smiles and  Prosperity ,

Happy New Year

The Last Page of Internet

                                                      The Last Page of Internet
29th dec 2014
.. And I hovered my mouse to the weblink and clicked.. The page that popped up astonished me…It’s the end. It’s the last page of Internet. Washing that smirk off my face, I soliloqued :” How can there be an end to something which is apparently Infinite?”
Suddenly I woke up to the most awful noise I have ever heard. Hell! I was dreaming. But now I was drawn towards a shrill, scratchy, warbling, pulsating siren whose decibel was just on the verge of being painful. I had not even sufficiently rubbed the sleep from my eyes and breath to have even looked at the morning sun. I woke up in haste and ran outside with all my might to find the source of noise, but it was directionless.
it was coming from all directions ,everywhere. people were running around frantically like they had mosquitoes trapped in their ear wax. Every dog in the city was howling, adding a thousand dissonant harmonies to the already irritating noise in the air.
Oh! There we spotted it! Hovering above were those little demon looking drones emanating a disgusting shrill deafening alarm trying to convey something. They were all around…hundreds of them.
Suddenly a baritonic husky voice boomed out from them…
“Hello people, My Countrymen!
..Oh it’s our President , we wondered in bewilderment!
He continued poetically ..”I will steal the sun, keep it in my heart and start the day.. smile a lot from the eyes till it fades away..
Yes it’s life and that is wonder enough but it always fades away. Always!
Today or tomorrow sickness and death will come to those we love and Us; nothing will remain but stench and worms. Sooner or later we will be forgotten, and we shall not exist. Then Why make an effort and why go on living as if we are immortal?
We were all befuddled as to why all of a sudden he was contemplating the absurdity of life?
“..My beloved Countrymen- Our mother Planet is running a fever. And it might end us. Infact IT WILL END US...”
The sentence echoed like a wildfire in a forest. WHAM! .. the bomb was dropped. Nobody believed their ears. Perpetual whispers and hisses filled the environment.
“..Yes We ARE DONE. We have served the limited time allotted to us. A meteor will hit our planet earth exactly at 31st dec 11:43 PM..”
In a tick, a blanket of gloom devoured everybody. Melancholy everywhere. End of life. End of humanity.And I thought to myself.. “Was my dream somehow connected to this..?”
He continued, though now, it hardly gripped anybody’s attention..
“Somewhere Beyond right and wrong.. beyond the end and the beginning.. beyond life and Death,there is a garden, I wil meet you there..!”
Till we are born again..” And the voice waned to the bare minimum.
With trepidation and butterfly feeling..I went inside my room..letting out a sigh.. “Is this world going to be annihilated by a meteorite?”.. I was in a sort of transcendence akin to what is experienced in psychedelic drug trips or in deep meditation states. For a split second I thought I was dreaming but pinched myself back to the cruel existential reality.
My heart melted with rapture and I cried out and was silent. Deep Silence lasted a whole minute coz I dint have enough time. In a twinkling of an eye everything infallibly changed. Three days before the doomsday! Three days to uphold the beauty!
Everyone in the city instantly goes insane. Society crumbles. Crazed and senseless, mankind stops thinking. There is a universal blackout.
The day passes and society rearranges itself.. and Eventually but slowly people adapts to this ultimate day of reckoning.. the day when the entire human race will be wiped off the face of earth. Damn the bloody meteor!
A life that was moving 1000 miles per hour suddenly slowed down. In this chaotic time, the greatest luxury was actually the ability to go nowhere and do Nothing. It was a time for a quiet inward reflection that snapped all the past experiences into focus.
Few hiked..water,pine tress, cliffs,meadows..nothing mattered.All nature.Everybody walked a little ..dreamt very little. The World was now governed by “Nothing” and “Little”.
They slowed down..payed attention to small things..somehow came to terms with their eminent and inevitable ending
Environment was filled with music. It took them back to the days of hopes and dreams and poetry and childlike enthusiasm ..infact to everything,that the hectic whirlwind life snatched away in our rush to conquer the world.
“people –watching” became common. They went to the park..walked down the street..watched people engaging in rituals of caring people ,places or objects.The morning street cleaners with their brooms in their hands and a whistle of ecstasy on their lips..people walking dogs..Lovers attending to their gal’s busy hands in line at the icecream shops.
They paused…paused to smell the roses..Everything was romantically slow and engaged in art of stillness.
Then there were people who dint like bringing stillness to their life because they thought there will be plenty of time for stillness after death, when there is nothing else to do.
They ran wearing a Bluetooth headset with podcasts and ipods,read phone in the bathroom..read books while walking down the street..They wanted more data..more facts,,more fun and more LIFE ironically. Quality mattered and not the quantity.
Then there were people who went hopeless.. senile to say the least. They had lost enough time in their mad rush of creating a mark ..in their endless pursuit of nabbing the world. Those who never took few minutes outa everyday lives..or few days outa every season or few years outa their lives.Those like us who were making a living rather than making a life. Those who spent chasing something virtual ..shadowy and nonexistent. With all the Online time.. they lost enough on their offline self. Complete harakiri for them.
All they wished was a second chance ..Alas!
31st Dec 2014
Doomsday arrived. But people were busy with high cobalt skies and splash of blue ocean waves. Few listened to their favourite songs and dedicating few for their loved ones on Radio. Melancholy, as originally expected, was nowhere to be found because it was not mere three days but 259200 moments that they lived. Everybody became a Now-ist.
Everybody gathered outside to meet their end…It was 11:39 exactly.. We stared at the sky.. high on anticipation.. It seemed like a festival celebrating the beginning of an end.
Suddenly the sky was littered with smoke…We were blinded. We dint know what caused them. But We knew the end was around the block.. 4 minutes away. That smoke of death would engulf all and sundry.
And then the smoke frittered away…Gosh! What the Hell was that?.. we looked at the sky..in gasp and awe yet frightened .. in disbelief yet hopeful.. in seething anger yet a rush of calmness.. in bewilderment yet ecstatic... We could not believe our eyes…
..To be continued on 31st dec 2014

                                                   "GYAAN"-If it were that simple,it would not be appealing.

Dear Diary,

I am not able to pigeonhole my feelings right now..I can't even call what I feel..

"a heartache"…mmm...it's too banal…

"melancholy"..naihh.. its too languorous…

"dormant" is closest I suppose…

Last evening sitting in the park, I saw few kids playing and I realized Kids are so much fun to watch ..driven curiosity..Sponataneous as an electron..Everything is new to them..Everything is self exploration..An active participant to knowledge rather than a mere recepient…And then they get to school!!

 While I was stumbling upo,n in my cell..I found this  words of wisdom..

In Mahabharata Yudhisthira is asked a question.."What is the greatest Wonder"..and Yudhisthira replies and remember, this answer was given 2000 years ago.."Everyday People die and rest live as if they are immortal'..That is the greatest wonder…

These two fleeting moments shaped the "gyaan" time ..I came back and immersed myself in black and white!!

From the moment we are a speck of travelling sperm in a womb, to the moment we actually cry our way out and announce our arrival  to the world, We are embroiled in difficulties..We are a mere puddle of beautiful mess..!!

And  we crawl and then walk-and immidiately we are labelled as early genius and then you learn to piss right into your mouth .With a cackling smile She says...Dekhiye jii, He did it! and Dad says: yeah he is so talented..! Don't buy into that crock of shit!..It's stupidity! Plain and simple!...But the point is, They are your parents.. No matter what you do, they will always support you.. Respect your Punching bags. Be with them.

There are imminent signs on the wall that says:"Make mistakes …It's okay!..Be your own moral compass.  In a nutshell, Be a kid. Be spontaneous. Be self explorative .You find the company boring, you are not laughing with them...Leave immidiately!..It's okay to be a bit selfish. Be around people who makes you laugh..With whom you enjoy having tender innocuous fights with…arguments , that had at first, led you to go into shell , but it was so innocent that you cry out their name in joy the first time you meet them after that incident, because you have completely forgotten and immidiately the feeling dawns on you.." Oh Shit.. Last night we had an argument!"….Be with them!.. You are most assured to have 80% of your zipped happy life!.. Guaranteed.

BE the main hero to some simpleton "brown eyes" rather than a sidekick to a gorgeously beautiful "blue eyes". Be the flame not the moth.

Marry outside your community..and Contrary to our parent's belief..Believe me,Your kids won't be aliens..infact they will be genetically more enhanced…The point is ,In 20 years if you are celebrating your daughter's 8th Birthday, You sure as hell should believe that you created this new life with the right person..That you are still around someone with whom you can be Stupid.. Because no matter what hand life deals you, how serious life gets, you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with.!..

Yes indeed, We will still need to climb career ladders, face complicated aspirations ,live upto fake Social standards, hackneyed office hours ,wrinkles on our face ,uneven bowel movements but the difference would be to look forward to things you want to do in your life .Not those big monetary stuffs but the small simple pleasures of life!.

Art is not just a bourgeois decadence,So Appreciate beauty. Be with Nature. When you are alone, draw a map of imaginary place in your head and travel!

.Because whoever the fuck peddled this crock of wisdom was absolutely right.." He not busy being born, is busy dying"….

Bike, eat,  drink, talk, Ride the subway, Read, READ FICTION, make art, Tell your parents not to stress ,hug your mom, kiss your little sister ,Make out with your girlfriend, Make out with her more, and more, Take her on a picnic,

See a movie with her ,Have conversations with her around Nature amidst a fresh flowing river, Have a Party, Dance, Tell people your story, help people like street kids, help people like yourself, Draw more even if you suck at it..It does not need to be representative, just an abstract piece,Draw a naked person, Draw your girl friend naked, Run ,travel ,TRAVEL more,Skip….Yes I know it's lame, But whatever, that's the point.

Breathe..Breathe…Breatheee..Breatheeee….LIVE!

This is for you all…Though i am not so kitschy.. Let me be blunt and say it outright that I MISS YOU ALL Deba BlakenytVivek AnandDurganandan SinghPratik A. GorAmarjeet KumarVishwajeet KumarRoopam JainArunima AhomShweta BhardwajShaloo YadavSwetima Bhartiall of you...As a matter of fact i would have categorised you all as Gang-wang but calling Names makes it much more poignant and closer.Isn't it?? Remember those pointless but exuberant adventures and journeys??..Ofcourse we all do.Now when i dig my far corners of mind ,i find that the only people that interests me are the Mad ones ..those dipped and rolled in craziness and insanity...The ones who are mad to live..mad to talk..desirous of everything at the same time..The ones that never Yawwn...And that's what i did with you all...!! kill me now but nobody even teeters on the perimeter of it like you all do...Lets catch up and LIVE again.

                                                                                                         

                                        You Me and Five Bucks!!

....And the Octopus, with all his 9 tentacles unravelling his thoughts, spoke.." Expectation eventually is a disappointment.."…
His thoughts ironed his mind…his inner speech conveyed him something, which he has long een pondering over..
" Was he all along acting on whims rather than thoughts?". Did he believe on Fate rather than planning..?"…"Was he a neotenic nutcase who looked the world through the rose tinted glasses?"....

"…You ever heard of the Chaos theory, Miss Dolphin?" ..There ensued a conversation in the head of his head between him and the ever elegant Dolphin…
Chaos Theory is the idea that one occurence can lead to something seemingly unrelated. That there seems to be many random chaotic things happenning in our lives but somehow they could be related.
It's Science!
It tries to determine the underlying patterns in Chaotic systems.. Weather ,Oceans, Currents, Blood flow..that sort of things..
It seems there are few things more chaotic than those systems… the beat of a human heart…Speeding up, slowing down ,A pretty face , Flights of fantasy and "Expectations"!..They are erratic! But underneath all these everyday mess,There is infact a pattern,a truth. The truth is we choose to give them.. We choose to receive them! It transcends blood..It transcends the amount of time we know each other and spend together.. It transcends all the dirt that makes us human.. If you figure that out..Silly and neotenic Octopuses of the world has got nothing on you Miss Dolphin!...
He could now visualise in his head, the lips of Dolphin, fluttering few words…She herself has always been good at explaining everyday chaotic systems !
"…But Mr. Octopus, the point of diving in a lake is not immidiately to swim to the shore, but to be in the lake, to luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not work the lake out. It's an experience beyond the thought. There is no competition here. You just need to let be and let the flow take you to the Shore"…..
While his inner self was still pontificating, a nudge brought him back to the reality…he let his glance fall upon her and could view her in all seemingly possible finer details.. Dolphin stood insouciantly ,with very little expression in her eyes.
Octopus: So, here you are, very well stitched, and in all your amplified details.
Dolphin: And here you are wearing your dishevelled and dumb look!..My amplified details and stitchings that you refer has more merit and admirers than your two scribblings put together and can garner more likes!
He didn’t know if she smiled while saying those words…May be ..may be not..!
The inherent tension between them was imminently visible while they seeped their coffee in Silence,staring at each other.
They dint speak a word yet it was the best conversation they had ,at the cost of five buck coffee…….!
You……Me and..The Five Bucks!

                                                             Rishikesh-"Sanity Sabbatical"    

   

Dear Mom,

                                                                                                                        

Preface

It’s 1:26 AM in the morning.. while I am still pregnant with indelible memories of the trip ,I thought of putting the  pen to paper..

How do you even begin to describe all this….

Observing Different cultures  always makes up for a therapeutic write…

Over time we build “stock-emotions” so these breaks kinda rejuvenates them.. start afresh.. refill ourselves... we let life happen a bit..!!

Funny things happen to time…its burlesque.. here amidst ever-burgeoning city life, time slow motions itself…In the same moment there in the lap of nature, hours are gushing past us, as if ,

we are running on a time tread-mill and apparently we start savouring minutes and  seconds!

ACT 1

The journey started around 11:30 PM the scheduled date…There were no humans to be found on our bus…only the Fun-Zombies….

Whoever said..” Journey is more fulfilling than destination”…I could automatically catch the pulse he was talking about…

Fun.. Frolic.. songs.. dances… mimicry.. sarcasm  were what the moments were composed of…age was just a number floating around.. After rounds of drinks.. even that blurred down to its bare minimum…

We Reached….

It’s market day Mom! And it seems Rishikesh is an ongoing  party where everyone is invited. Cliché’s converge at the navel of this city.

I almost want to laugh, but can’t help feeling that these Rishikeshians know more about life than we do. Everybody here is a free thinking heretic.

Chaos, culture….it’s all celebrated within the confines of Rishikesh .It only demands one thing of people ..to be truly awake!..

My tea gang Mom ..that I often keep mentioning about…Ankur,Ashish and Deepak...sneaked out of the Hotel in search of a tea stall…and what happened there was a profound lesson on  life..

Which rekindled our “grey matter” and left us equally in raptures!

Down in the hinterland..there stood a small shop..dingy…almost decapitated…fighting with dusty winds and a filthy flowing river nearby.…or just say, it had every natural ingredients that adds taste and smell to a herbal tea..

With few resistance from two friendly heads…we entered…

We were struck by the image that stood before us…Though we ordered our tea..we were still giggling about it!

It was a dwarf in his late 50s…albeit, He looked older than mankind itself…the cold harsh hand of time had wrinkled him beyond recognition..

I still could not take my gaze off him.. He looked funny to me…or let’s just say..I made a grave folly of judging the book by its cover…

While he added the nonessential ingredients and nature its own(essential ingredients) into our tea…He mouthed…”Ghumne… aaye ho yahan”…stern…poised.. a baritone voice..

..”Haan Baba..”…I replied..

Deepak…verbal diarrhea that he suffers from…instantly spewed “…Baba life sahi hai..Tension nahi hai..” ke bilkul viprit chal rahi hai…”whhhatt to do..”…??

We just laughed ..never surmising an answer out of him…

“..What we have is a Rhombus…..Life is a rhombus…patterns..routines…goals...a wheel of aspirations…until the disruptions we long for, comes along and that Rhombus is broken..”..Go seek that disruption…!!

Our eyes popped out ..literally… !.. it was like jabbing a knife into the dicstionary and coming out with the most appropriate and subtle definition of something as profound as life..!

He continued…

“We could live a million years and we could spend every minute of it doing  important things…But at the end of it all.. We would have only lived half a life..”

Go..Start living spherically in many directions…”…I just completely lended him my ears…You know Mom, my propensity for the words of wisdom!

He just handed us our tea…and went back to his Chanakya spot…

I was liking this Five-buck oddball conversation…I poked him….again…

“Lekin Baba..kehna ashaan hai..it’s easier said than done…”..trying to be all erudite and englishy…

He retorted back as if reprimanding me through his words..“har aadmi apne Sandaas mein raja hota hai…we sit like one…we feel like one..”...instantly ,we spared few naughty chuckles..

“….You can behave the same as well…outside your boundaries of your bathroom.….”…he continued…

When you were climbing up here to find this tea stall..…try comparing it your journey through life.. you will get all your answers…

Journey of life is like a trek up a mountain…we spend most of our time putting one foot in front of the other…we get lost..we fall..we circle back..And sometime every step is a struggle..

Until the moment comes when you find your tea stall breather..when you are able to stop ..take a breath..and look up…And see how far you have come..and understand how beautiful that is..

And suddenly the air sparkles all around us…and the beauty cracks open in all its loveliness..”…

I was lost…we were lost…wishing they taught a chapter on life in our schools rather than all the junks about fill in the blanks stuffs….Billi Nau sau chuhe khaake________ chali....…As a matter of fact

In my innocence I remember filling it...Billi nau sau chuhe khaake tedhi medhi chali… and getting slapped for it…What an absolute twaddle!!....No offence logic says..900 chuhe khaake billi tash se mash na ho….

ACT 2

To be continued…( After we came from that eventful “art of living” session by dwarf baba)

                                                                                     An oddball Conversation with “GOD”

When the battery was empty…when my smart phone did not know my GPS location….When the memory card was full and pixels empty…

When the Facebook was clueless as to what I “Liked”.. When I no longer had to express myself in 140 words…When Watsapp did not predict my “last seen status”…

When instead of using my camera, I insisted on using my eyes to load mosaic of high resolution snapshots…

When the Google asked for a much needed break… I set out for a lone time with Nature.

Wearing my black shirt with my permanent dumb look, I Reached the River side ..All I could hear was the gargling frothing sound of the flowing water…

There were rocks.. gargantuan rocks.. I snaked my way up and lied romantically in her(nature)lap ,watching the bandage on a bleeding moon that we humans were responsible for.…

I stared right into the sky with a "fill in the blank" thought…myriad emotions rustled to fill that blank..the most prominent one was of ecstasy…In the blink of an eye I was teleported back to my Biology class…where we were taught about different hormones…I could vaguely remember My teacher’s backside and no face because he loved blackboard so much so that he just kept filling it with his scribbles and leaving immidiately thereafter…but I keep thinking of him all the time who would solve every damn questions in book but would never teach us how to do them..…but one thing that still reverberates in my head is ENDORPHINS…he called it "happy hormones"…

I wish Mom, I could manufacture these hormones outside our bodies and market them in bottles or make them freely downloadable as ZIP files..…Firstly it would prove to be a great moolah raking business…secondly I would contribute to  making world a"happy" place…but here amidst Nature..i could delineate this Environment with ecstasy hormones floating around.!..

Lying so peacefully in her lap,,I thought of having a tete-a-tete with GOD.

 ..Do you have a sense of humour ? ....I asked demurely with my eyes closed  and continued with the wisdom of an idiot…

You are almighty…you created this world..and if you had a sense of humour,this world would be frigging hilarious..

But its not…its stark and brutal..lies deceit..killing. Shark attacks..really?..nothing funny about that…

And if you were funny there would be clown attacks..tickling us to death…before our lips could form a proper scream..they would say…"The Lord works in a hilarious ways son…"…..that would be funny….

 Before "he"(Yes, God is a man!) could reply…I hastened…

And why..why..and why…only the serious lessons in Gita or the Ten commandments.."Karm kar phal ki chinta mat kar"…"thou shall not commit adultery"…etcetra…etcetra…

Why not like.."thou shall not wear pants on thursdays"..that would lighten the mood of the world and stop people from using hackneyed acronym TGIF(Thank god its friday) !

I made you…I must have a sense of humour..LOL..!...he retorted…

I shrieked on God LOLing…!

he continued…and the only thing funny with TGIF is that you LMAOing generation are thanking "us" for Fridays…instead of attributing it to earth's rotation on its orbit…

I could instantly hear the banter in his voice…!

…Buddy it's no fun being worshipped once you stop being an adolescent teenager..So I escaped here in Rishikesh!...he whispered into my ears..

How did that turn out for you?.,…I chuckled.. escaping to “ Rishikesh—the land of Rishis”…it was my turn to throw a banter on him!

Why can’t you put a happiness/Love predicting algorithm inside us?..I asked with an innocence of a toddler!..

You humans complain and whine a lot yaar…why this.. why not that..!

Should you have a bad day at work, think of the man who has been out of work for years!

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend, think of the man in dire straits,working 12 hours a day,seven days a week, to feed his children..

Should you notice a new grey hair in the mirror, think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hairs to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what life is all about,asking what is my purpose? Be thankful, there are those who did not live long enough to get the opportunity!..

…eh! you are back to your serious boring ways.. you could have only said that. Yes Indeed,Life could be a harsh punishment in a prison.. but who said you can’t serve the sentence in Style!

…I stood up and just walked away!..

Walking towards the hut..i could hear the stray notes of music and I knew.. My Favourite ”wear-the-dancing-boots” time was beckoning me …

In those revolving twinkling lights…that set the stage..”I was buoyed by a chemical madness and in the bed of my head I let my conscience rest..

from the vague memory that I have of the eventful night..i could hazily remember those beaming colourful lights focussing all around us..In my insanity I let my tongue out to taste the lights…

and the Red,blue,green,purple and yellow sweetness breaks open in my mouth..,and as I expected, its like eating hot grapes from the mountains..

I could even smell the coloured prancing lights and touch them with my hand and suddenly a wisdom dawned on me in those hallucinating moments-

“We are standing in a cesspool of verb “was” imagining our “will/shall” to be happily ever after..but we forget that the the verb “is” is the zen of life… and there on I lost myself to the ambience….”

..Before we could realize,we were occupying our seats on the bus that would take us back to the world of “BB shouting high IMs” and the world of “tickets and stories”…

The journey back was comparatively quieter with  amazing moments of philosophical take on life by Ganesh Sir..And as he says…

I’m good..you are good..everybody is good…Its just the perspective…!..that made me think about the stereotypical Bollywood villians..They are not bad..it’s the hero who has problems with his extra cash and all time

Jamboree partying…They want heroines…but,who doesnot?..can’t blame them for that…!

Below stanza is an apt rendition of my time in Rishikesh Mom…

….क्या बताऊं मा कहाँ हूँ मैं

(Kya bataun maa kahan hun main)

यहाँ उड़ने को मेरे खुला आसमान है..

(Yahan udne ko mere khula aasmaan hai)

कैसे तुझको दिखौऊ यहाँ है क्या

(Kaise tujhko dikhaun Yahan hai kya)

मैने झरने से पानी मा तोड़ के पिया है

(Maine jharne se paani maa tod ke piya hai)

गुच्छा गुच्छा कर ख्वाबों का उछल के छुआ है

(Guccha guccha kar khwabon ko ucchal ke chhua hai)

छाया लिया भली धूप यहाँ है

(chhaya liye bhali dhoop yahan hai)

नया नया सा है रूप यहाँ

(Naya naya sa hai roop yahan)

यहाँ सब कुछ है मा फिर भी

(yahan sab kucch hai maa phhir bhi)

लगे बिन तेरे मुझको अकेला…..

(Lage bin tere mujhko akela)…

All the Love,

Your son!